


Prosciutto and Cheese

by ineedthislikeaholeinthehead



Category: X-Men, X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, beastsilver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 20:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7478190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead/pseuds/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Alternate title for this work was "DO NOT take Peter to Costco" </p><p>So a good summary is probably "Hank and Peter go to Costco"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prosciutto and Cheese

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shade_Wilson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shade_Wilson/gifts).



> I kinda just realized RIGHT NOW that I was imagining this as like 1985ish, and that I'm pretty sure there weren't a lot of Costco's around (if any) 30 years ago...so....Costco magically exists in 1985 or Hank and Peter are together for a very long time (both is good.) 
> 
> Oh... also... Shade_Wilson... I realize that it's really weird to get a gift so out of the blue (especially cus of we've never talked or anything) but your stuff really inspired me and so if that's super weird... I'm sorry!

“You're not getting that.” Peter had already zoomed down the next aisle before Hank finished the sentence. Hank pulled out the economy sized box of Snickers. As soon as it was sitting on a shelf, Peter was back and a huge box of Butterfingers was in the cart. 

“You shouldn’t just leave stuff lying around.” He told Hank, holding the Snickers. He’d already opened one. He chewed while Hank looked at him incredulously. “Someone’s gonna have to restock it.” 

“That’s their job, Peter.” Hank took the box back. “But they won’t have to with this one, since you’ve opened it and we have to get it.” 

“I know. That’s why I did it.” He finished the candy bar and put the wrapper in his pocket before speeding away. Hank hadn’t even gotten to the end of the aisle before he was back, stuffing bags of potato chips and Cheetos into the cart. 

“Peter, no!” 

“We’re throwing a party, Hank. You have to have party food.” 

“How about a cheese plate? Or prosciutto?” Hank looked up and Peter was chewing on a Red Vine he had definitely pinched. 

“Boring.” Peter told him. Hank looked at him in confused amazement. 

“Do you eat anything that isn’t covered in sugar or fat?” Peter shook his head. 

“I have a very fast metabolism.” He said before running off to god knows where. Hank eventually found him again, piling boxes of ice cream in his arm. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Oh good, you’re here.” Peter dumped the contents into the already full cart. “Don’t give me that look. It’s your favorite flavor.” 

“It’s your favorite flavor.” 

“It’s our favorite flavor.” Hank pulled out two of the three boxes Peter had dumped in the cart and handed them back to him. 

“It’s your favorite flavor.” Peter zoomed around the warehouse, occasionally making his way back to the cart to check on Hank and toss another greasy, sugary piece of something onto the pile. Hank gave up on trying to stop him. He wasn’t even paying attention anymore. 

That lucky ass really could get away with whatever he wanted. Which seemed to be exclusively made by Little Debbie. Hank was marginally jealous, but then again, he was the one who got to touch Peter, so wasn’t he ultimately the biggest beneficiary of that superhuman metabolism?

They were finally done shopping, so Hank started walking towards the checkout line. 

“What are you doing?” Peter asked. He was chewing on another filched Red Vine. 

“Getting in line. To pay.” 

“Pay?” Peter looked confused. 

“Yes, Peter. We’re paying for this.” 

“Nah.” Hank had experienced more than enough of Peter’s five finger discount excursions. They always ended up making him dizzy, and with a cart this full, he didn’t want to risk everything flying back in his face. 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“Let me just get this. It’s no big deal.” 

“We’re paying for this, and that’s the last I’m hearing of it.” Peter puffed up his cheeks and blew as he sighed. Hank took it as a sign that he’d won. 

“Fine.” He stood there, looking as bored as he possibly could. And then, 5 seconds later, he was as bored as he possibly could be. “What’s taking so long?” 

“There’s always a line.” Hank said. And it was true. Why was there always a line? 

“Lets just go.” 

“No.” 

“Uuuughhh.” 

“Why don’t you go look for something else to get?” Hank asked. Anything to get Peter distracted. 

“We’ve been here for hours. There’s nothing left to look at.” 

“Someone should get you a Gameboy.” 

“It’s on my Christmas list.” Peter joked.

“Because you’d wait that long for anything.” 

“I can be patient!” Peter looked offended, but Hank couldn’t keep a straight face. 

“Uh-Huh.” 

“I can!” He was pouting now. It was really, really cute. Peter leaned over to whisper something into Hank’s ear. “Like right now, I’m waiting to take you home and out of those clothes.” 

Hank knew he was blushing. Peter liked when he blushed. He looked for every opportunity to make him blush. It was really, really hot.

Peter tried to stand still again. He lasted at least 8 seconds. Personal best. 

“I feel guilty now, man. If I’d known you were actually gonna pay for this stuff, I wouldn’t have gotten so much.” 

“It’s fine.” Hank said as the finally approached the conveyor belt. 

“I should at least get some of this.” 

“It’s really not a big deal, Peter.” Hank picked up a box of apples, by the time he’d rested it on the conveyor, the rest of the food was stacked neatly behind it. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’m sure you’ll steal me something nice later.” 

“I don’t just steal things, you know.” 

“Yes. You also make my eyes roll to the back of my head.” Now they were both blushing. “It’s fine though. I don’t care if you’re a kleptomaniac. It comes in useful.” 

“I’m not a kleptomaniac. I’m just bored.” And, in his defense, now that he’d been training and living at the house (though mostly just in Hank’s rooms) the number of missing items mysteriously found in Peter’s possession had gone down drastically. 

“Fine.” Hank said. Everything was packed in the cart before Hank was done paying. He pushed it towards the door. “Do you want a-” Peter was already next to him, holding a hot dog. He handed Hank a drink. 

“I got you Dr. Pepper.” 

“I don’t like Dr. Pepper. You do.” Peter took it out of his hand. 

“Well, if you don’t want it, I’ll take it.” He was sipping the very bottom by the time they were out the door. 

They got back to the school and Peter was off- he’d left Hank with the box of apples to lug up to his place. 

When he got there, Peter was sitting on the couch, eating a Twinkie. On the table was a package of prosciutto and a cheese plate.

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone else ever have this problem at Costco? 
> 
> No matter when I go, or how many people it looks like there are, when it's time to pay, it's ALWAYS packed at the check out. 
> 
> Sorry if that's true. I'll try to make Hank and Peter more ~*~relatable~*~ next time.


End file.
